Category Archives: randomness

an act of letting go

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an act of letting go

I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say …goodbye.

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a 2nd chance; IF only things were a little bit different!

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The many phases of life often leads us in search of perfection. A change from what you were, determines what you will be.

It’s more of a continuous assessment, the only difference being your failure once may not assure a retest for the same paper again. This surely would carry a vast effect on your overall progress. Your quest in one part of your life leads you to an answer. You go on. The next question soon follows and it’s much later that you find out that a little bit different answer on the earlier question would have avoided all the hustles now. Well, too late for regrets.

* nvm if the para-statement above is a little too much to understand!

The question of life has never been objective. It’s YOU who choose your answers and indirectly you set the whole paper all together. Now, life is more of a continuous self-assessment isn’t it? It’s funny – we set the papers, we answer it and in most cases we fail in it!

Being 20 now, I feel it’s a critical point now for a self-assessment. I feel everyone should be sitting for a self-assessment session one time or the other and looking back at my answers, I just could wish for one thing:

The small boy who used to ride a red BMX in the neighborhood has long gone. I do miss him a lot. Life for him revolved around the grounds of love and compassion. No worries – the most for him was bruises of falling down from his mini mobile and other than that he was just a fine young figure. He’d take the bruises again if he could.

Yes guess he passed the 1st test excellently well. He did! He did!

The 2nd, saw him craving more towards materialism. Pride, honor and success molded a new character. A well determined youngster who managed to taste a fair amount of victory. He wasn’t perfect but he was getting somewhere, to be someone. The lessons, however never came easy. Seasons of fear and distress took alternate turns between sojourns of happiness. Partly this was due to the bio-mental change; a term of teenage volatility. Questions flowed in but answers were still out of vicinity and many his age sank in this ravage.

He, breezed through and the only two things that held this teenager up were the guidance his parents gave him all throughout and the fondness for religion which blossomed in him. To the envy of many he survived the 2nd phase – he survived a short storm.

A blindfolded battle soon followed and he was not at all ready. His guides were missing this time and it was just a matter of time before he succumbed to defeat. Success was never long enough. It should have been.

But, he survived the transition too – thanks to sailing friends he’d get to know for a lifetime. They failed with him, just too often that it made him feel OK.
… today, the mid-noon of the 3rd phase is just too full of doubts for him. Can he get lucky and survive again? The BMX boy did. The teenager, fairly did too.

But, it both thought him to fail and failures, somewhat are a lot easier to handle now.

He’s not worried about failing the 3rd test, as he is better prepared for this than he was ever before. Failures of yesterday will serve as a new platform for success. Would these failures catch up with him tomorrow? That’s a good question.

The once lost little boy on his BMX would surely prefer if things were a little bit different for him in the future. A little bit easier on him. A little bit perfect than what it is now. A little bit of help in letting him be what he wants to be.

:o)

Looking back the last 2 decades I just wish I could turn back time. It’s not a birthday cake I wish for now, it’s a second chance and I know IT IS too much to ask for!
… and just as I finished this sentence, rays of light filled my dark room. The sun is still shining bright, every single day. Wonder what it means.

Could it be telling the small boy that every morning is a gift for him to realize his dreams to come? Could it be that things would be a little bit different, a little bit easier and a little bit perfect than how it was yesterday? Could it be telling him that he is what he is and nothing can stop him? Could it be that “2nd chances” actually comes to us all the time?

Well, maybe.

GOD’s answers aren’t always packaged the way we want it, are they? 🙂

– my 1st blogging activity,originally written 9 years back in Kuittho and brought back to me by a friend at 3.03am, July 6th 2010. Every man has a story …i, have a few.

blessed, i am… because of YOU.

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ஏன் இதயம் உடைத்தாய் நொறுங்கவே? என் மறு இதயம் தருவேன் நீ உடைக்கவே : yen ithayam udaithai norungave? en maru ithayam tharuveyn nee udaikave*

… such is the realized beauty of being in love – shatter me again, just for me to keep wanting many more moments with you.

blessed, i am… because of you. blessed i am to have realized this love from you.

IF, you could walk pass me one more time – என் வாசல் தாண்டி போனாளே : en vaasal thaandi ponaale* to get me breathless at every sight and lost at every thought …to live and to have lived – வாழ்வுக்கும் பக்கம் வந்தேன், சாவுக்கும் பக்கம் நின்றேன் : vaazhvukkum pakkam vanthaen, saavukkum pakkam nindraen* in this perfect love – பட்டு பூச்சி வந்தாச்சா? மேகம் உன்னை தொட்டாச்சா? : pattupoochi vanthachaa? megam unnai thottaachaa?*

so that i could relive நான் குழந்தை ஆகிறேன் : naan kulanthai aagirean* once again every moment shared with you.

and …hear my love calling out to you: i take a step, you take a step – walk with me.

p.s. it is starting to feel odd to tag so many of you in here, i know this is purely a ‘love affair’ but the writer couldn’t resist but to spread the magic with everyone else! 😉 and, if you haven’t realized – click “hear my love” to hear the entire song …one more time!

tagged in no priority order! nevertheless, blessed I am to have crossed paths with all of you – tagged or untagged 🙂

what dreams may come

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I write this as I don’t have your number and that I hear you were ceaselessly looking out for me (or so I wish to hear) at the convocation!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Back when I graduated someone whispered ‘ohw finally!’ in my ears before we threw off the mortarboards (which we made sure to collect after the photo-shot coz we loaned the whole graduation suit, for an unreasonable price).
… and it took me a couple of interviews, resignations and more interviews to figure how wrong ‘ohw finally’ was! I wish I can remember who said it!

This IS in fact, the beginning of a far more significant part of your ‘journey’ than the years you spent in lecture halls where you were either writing…SMSs, listening…to your mp3s or attentively watching…everyone else except the lecturer (or the lecturer if she was hot!).

YOU will realize (as how I have, AM) to an extent what matters most after-school is everything else than what you were in there and with time you will also come to realize that no matter what you were or what you are, you can change it if you dared enough. 🙂

Simply put, you really don’t have to end up being a scientist just because you took science at high school! I know someone with a PhD and he is running a restaurant, cooking loads of delicious money with it.

CAREER

… is truly about making effort to do what you want to do and earn a decent living along the way. It is, ultimately about your own dreams and all efforts you put in to walk towards your dreams; small steps maybe, but make sure you keep walking and when you walk …carry your scroll with you-just in case someone needs to know where you graduated from!

if you need me to derive a formula to substantiate my argument :

Work = Force x Distance
Force translates itself as all effort you put in; distance translates as your journey from point D to point E. D is Dream, E is…. rEality.

Most of us fail to understand this. The sad part is and as noble as it may sound, most of us end up working fulfilling someone else’s dream …we get paid but we also repeatedly ask ourselves-if everything is even worth all the effort. Now that can really suck in a really really really bad way!

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up on your dreams; coz dreams DO come true :o)
– and with god’s grace, all your future efforts will make your work worthwhile and the journey beautiful, a journey which will see many of your own dreams coming true.

God Bless!
~ M Prasad

p.s this piece was originally written to be a short personalized congratulations msg to charu, shailaja, priscy, yamuna, sivagami, hema, sanuzi, thanes, siva, karthi and some others who received their scrolls on 15/10/08 from AIMST…but as usual, I got it over-flowing and decided to blog it instead!