The many phases of life often leads us in search of perfection. A change from what you were, determines what you will be.
It’s more of a continuous assessment, the only difference being your failure once may not assure a retest for the same paper again. This surely would carry a vast effect on your overall progress. Your quest in one part of your life leads you to an answer. You go on. The next question soon follows and it’s much later that you find out that a little bit different answer on the earlier question would have avoided all the hustles now. Well, too late for regrets.
* nvm if the para-statement above is a little too much to understand!
The question of life has never been objective. It’s YOU who choose your answers and indirectly you set the whole paper all together. Now, life is more of a continuous self-assessment isn’t it? It’s funny – we set the papers, we answer it and in most cases we fail in it!
Being 20 now, I feel it’s a critical point now for a self-assessment. I feel everyone should be sitting for a self-assessment session one time or the other and looking back at my answers, I just could wish for one thing:
The small boy who used to ride a red BMX in the neighborhood has long gone. I do miss him a lot. Life for him revolved around the grounds of love and compassion. No worries – the most for him was bruises of falling down from his mini mobile and other than that he was just a fine young figure. He’d take the bruises again if he could.
Yes guess he passed the 1st test excellently well. He did! He did!
The 2nd, saw him craving more towards materialism. Pride, honor and success molded a new character. A well determined youngster who managed to taste a fair amount of victory. He wasn’t perfect but he was getting somewhere, to be someone. The lessons, however never came easy. Seasons of fear and distress took alternate turns between sojourns of happiness. Partly this was due to the bio-mental change; a term of teenage volatility. Questions flowed in but answers were still out of vicinity and many his age sank in this ravage.
He, breezed through and the only two things that held this teenager up were the guidance his parents gave him all throughout and the fondness for religion which blossomed in him. To the envy of many he survived the 2nd phase – he survived a short storm.
A blindfolded battle soon followed and he was not at all ready. His guides were missing this time and it was just a matter of time before he succumbed to defeat. Success was never long enough. It should have been.
But, he survived the transition too – thanks to sailing friends he’d get to know for a lifetime. They failed with him, just too often that it made him feel OK.
… today, the mid-noon of the 3rd phase is just too full of doubts for him. Can he get lucky and survive again? The BMX boy did. The teenager, fairly did too.
But, it both thought him to fail and failures, somewhat are a lot easier to handle now.
He’s not worried about failing the 3rd test, as he is better prepared for this than he was ever before. Failures of yesterday will serve as a new platform for success. Would these failures catch up with him tomorrow? That’s a good question.
The once lost little boy on his BMX would surely prefer if things were a little bit different for him in the future. A little bit easier on him. A little bit perfect than what it is now. A little bit of help in letting him be what he wants to be.
Looking back the last 2 decades I just wish I could turn back time. It’s not a birthday cake I wish for now, it’s a second chance and I know IT IS too much to ask for!
… and just as I finished this sentence, rays of light filled my dark room. The sun is still shining bright, every single day. Wonder what it means.
Could it be telling the small boy that every morning is a gift for him to realize his dreams to come? Could it be that things would be a little bit different, a little bit easier and a little bit perfect than how it was yesterday? Could it be telling him that he is what he is and nothing can stop him? Could it be that “2nd chances” actually comes to us all the time?
GOD’s answers aren’t always packaged the way we want it, are they? 🙂
– my 1st blogging activity,originally written 9 years back in Kuittho and brought back to me by a friend at 3.03am, July 6th 2010. Every man has a story …i, have a few.